Love is that essential ingredient that a marriage relationship requires. It is the flour in the cake mixture, the foundation of the building, and the soil in which the garden is cultivated. Without love, there can't be a lasting marriage. I think I can almost hear some of you say, 'Well, duh!'

It seems I'm excelling in the science of the obvious. But not really. When you ask people to say what love is, they find it much more difficult to do than they would have imagined.

I asked a couple of friends what love means to them and here are 2 interesting answers I got out of the bunch... "What makes you're tummy jump when you see her (this said with a goofy grin on his face)" - This relationship broke up about 2 weeks after this statement was made.

"A chemical imbalance which doesn't allow you to see when the object of your affection is about to poke you in the eye" - She got divorced about 2 years ago so you can understand the reason for this sentiment.

The question is where did the love go for all those couples who have broken up or had a divorce? They strongly believed that they were in love. And they probably were. But the relationship ended in divorce. Where did the love go? What is true love? And how do you know when you have it? Is true love meant to fade away with time, or when another person comes into your life?

Some of the stuff written in this article may be too hard a pill for many to swallow because we've been programmed over the years to think differently. Adverts on TV, films, books, TV programs, have all worked together to shape a view that is totally different from the values followed in times past. The unconventional has now become the norm. So, some of the things that I will say will be seen as controversial because it goes against what is now considered as normal. But if we're really honest with ourselves (many find this very difficult to do), current divorce rates show that things aren't as good as they should be. Relationships are disintegrating all the time. If we're so 'enlightened' now, how come relationships aren't better than they were? Why are they worse? US Statistics indicate that one out of two marriages end up in divorce. Compare that to 60 years, and you'll see a great difference in the rates.

Some people don't like to agree that the media plays a part in shaping people's perception, attitudes, behaviours, and life choices. I think they must have wilfully closed their eyes to the thousands of women who change their clothing or hairstyle to look like a certain celebrity. They probably didn't read about the study that was done on women who said they began to have more casual sexual relationships after watching a very popular TV show which depicts some single women actively engaging in various casual sexual encounters. They also don't notice how many young men and women dress like performers on MTV. Like a wise person said, 'He who controls the language controls the culture.'

As a result, many people aren't too sure what love is any more. There are different kinds of love, some of which are indicate below. All 3 of them need to exist within a marriage for it to have a good chance of lasting.

1 - Emotion-based love 2 - Friendship love 3 - Commitment-based love

Which would you say is the most important in building a strong and lasting marriage?